This Is How I Amuse Myself

Originally posted on December 30, 2023.

Lauren felt dizzy after getting off the amusement park ride. Something about it was much more intense than usual. As the dizziness settled down, she flipped out once she realized she was now in the body of some random guy! She desperately began to search the park for her former body; she finally found it as night fell. It was sitting on a bench holding an odd device.

“Give me back my body!” Lauren demanded.

“I’m afraid that’s impossible,” The man now in her body replied, “Our swap was a test -- a successful test! But I have placed pieces in the park, which will trigger a massive swapping event for everyone in the park. Well, everyone over there on that side of the park. I’ve quite taken to your body and I don’t plan on giving it up. But I think if you rush over there, you might be lucky enough to get a better body than my former balding, middle aged one.”

“Why the hell would you do this?” Lauren cried.

“It’s an amusement park, is it not? This is how I amuse myself. Now, you’d better hurry. I really think you’ll want to take your chances amongst the choas that’s about to happen...”

Hard Reset

Originally posted on December 22, 2024.

I had lost track by how many times I had died and the simulation had reset. Each time I would wake up back in the corridor and restart the mission. But this was seemed different. It was the same dreary corridor and I awoke with the usual grogginess, but there was a smell of perfume in the air.

As my other senses started to come into focus, I could tell what was different; the body they had given me this time was female. I had no idea if this was a glitch, or if someone was trying to play a prank on me.

I tried shouting, but I knew it was no use. As long as I was in the simulation, they couldn't hear me. I either needed to finally succeed or try to get reset again in the hopes everything would go back to normal.

New Age

Originally posted on April 5, 2020.

Grant didn’t like all the yoga and new age weirdness his girlfriend was into, and he often tried steering clear of it. But one day he decided to indulge her by participating; it was his biggest regret. For some reason, he was a bit of a natural, almost immediately hitting a near perfect zen-like state. But as he pulled himself back to reality, it became obvious he was going back to the wrong reality. The sky was green, the sand was pink, and Grant was now a woman. He quickly tried to get back in that state, but it was hard to ignore the distractions of his new body; the long nails on his fingertips, the large breasts in a tiny bikini, the long hair flowing into his face. He didn’t like this stuff before; now he hated it.

Flash

Originally posted on May 25, 2013.

The white flash seemed to come out of nowhere. Neil hadn’t noticed a camera nearby, but there was one right in his face all of a sudden -- it must’ve been what caused the flash. Then he realized he wasn’t where he just was. He was now in the back of a car. But that wasn’t even the weirdest part. He was now wearing a long black dress with a low cut top and -- oh, dear God, a chest almost falling out the front -- a woman’s chest! And there was blonde hair too! He was in someone else’s body! Maybe that white light wasn’t a camera flash after all!

Noise

Originally posed on June 28, 2009.

Ian was sitting on a park bench when he heard an ear-piercing noise. He covered his ears, but it did no good. He eventually cringed down in pain, but then the noise started to dissipate. He sat back up and slowly started to pull his hands from his ears. That's when he looked around to realize he was in a different park in an entirely different city. It took Ian a little longer to notice that he was in a different body! The noise had caused him to swap with a beautiful woman in a pink dress clear across the country!

Front Page

Originally posted on November 29, 2009.

Brad was watching the celebrities walk down the red carpet on a televised awards' ceremony. He began to masturbate while watching the female actors walk down in their fancy gowns. Then something unexpected happened, he found himself standing on the red carpet wearing a fancy dress in high heels. A mysterious force swapped his body with one of the female celebrities, and he was still horny. The lude acts made the front page of half the papers across America.

Business

Originally posted on December 5, 2015.

Luke had always considered himself a pretty shrewd businessman. If there was a way to make a profit, he was sure to find it. Body swapping technology proved to be a new way for him to increase his profits. A young woman visiting from a foreign country offered him a great sum to switch bodies with him. She didn’t want to be deported and swapping was a valid solution, as court rulings made it difficult to swap the original body of a citizen or a citizen swapped into a foreigner’s body. Luke did the math. She was sure offering him a lot of money. Plus, she was probably twenty years younger than he was. That would give him a longer lifespan to profit even more. He made sure his financial affairs were in order before the swap. Soon enough, he found himself in her body. He changed from her clothes into a skirt suit he had brought with him and smiled at her. He hoped she knew what she was getting herself into. She smiled back, thinking the exact same thing about his decision...

The Consequences of Sneaking

Originally posted on December 4, 2015.

Wendy had dragged her boyfriend Brian to the ballet. He hated it. He was so bored that he decided it was best he just ditch her during the intermission. He knew she’d give him hell later that night, but he just couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t until he got to the train station and sat down that he noticed something odd. He reached down to tie his shoe laces and noticed something strange about them. They weren’t his usual shoes; they were dainty white slippers that laced in the back. And why was he wearing tights? His eyes followed his legs up his body with horror. It wasn’t just that he was wearing a ballerina’s outfit, he had swapped bodies with one of the ballerinas! He began to think about how it happened. He could only think of one time. As he was making his way out, he had bumped into one. She was sneaking a cigarette at the time. They had both been trying to sneak, but could it be possible that they swapped bodies? The outfit seemed right, but he needed a mirror to be sure. How was he ever going to explain this to his girlfriend now?

A Single Radish and a Piece of Bok Choy

Originally posted on December 11, 2015.

A single radish and a piece of bok choy, it didn’t seem like very much food. Danielle had given Nick strict orders about what he could eat for each meal as long as they were stuck in each other’s bodies. This was lunch. He knew he’d be hungry soon after, but he smiled as he told himself it would all be over soon. In a few days, they’d return to the lab that did this, and they’d swap back. He didn’t think switching bodies would change much, but living the live of someone else actually proved to be quite challenging. Danielle’s daily routine was just so much different from his. It ha been part of the experiment; he had to spend his time as she would. That meant getting up early to go workout, eating the meals she would eat, and even doing her job. Another smile came across his face; she probably had a harder time with his job than he did with hers. Doing Danielle’s job felt almost like a vacation to him; if only he was able to chow down on just a little more food!

Park

Originally posted on December 25, 2012.

It started as a normal walk in the park for Jacob. Then he saw her. She was one of the most beautiful women he could ever remember seeing. She was blond and wearing tight leather leggings. She leaned on the railing of the park’s path. He paused for just a moment, hoping to introduce himself, but he just couldn’t find the words.

“What the hell are you staring at?” She snapped at him.

Jacob was still fumbling, “I...just...”

But before he could get a third word out, something strange happened. He was now the one leaning against the railing. He could feel the tight leather on his legs and hair brushing his shoulders. He put a hand on his hip, “I asked what you’re looking at!”

Jacob could see his former body was even more dumbfounded than he had been. Likely the woman was confused to be in his body, probably more confused to see her former body acting like nothing was wrong. Jacob was enjoying every minute of this.

Hitchhiker

Originally posted on March 19, 2009.

John should've known better than to pick a hitchhiker. She was just so beautiful that he couldn't resist. He pulled up and asked if she needed a ride, but as she put her hand on the door handle, John felt a bolt of electricity run through him. The next thing he knows he is standing outside the car with his own hand on the door handle. Except that it's not his hand! As his brain goes into shock trying to comprehend how he swapped bodies with the hitchhiker, she drives off with his car and his body. Now John finds himself stranded on the side of the road in a strange body. He tries to flag down cars for a ride; they are few and far between, and not a single one is stopping.

Professional Setting

Originally posted on April 30, 2020.

Greg stood awkwardly in the office. He wasn’t sure how he got here or why he was now in the body of a woman. For a brief instant, he hoped he wasn’t the only one who had swapped bodies with someone, but everyone around seemed to be acting normally enough so that didn’t seem likely. He was gong to have to figure things out. He had to find her desk or her office. He’d also have to figure out what her actual job was. Heck, he didn’t even know her name!

Before swapping into this body, he was just a slacker college student at the nearby university. He wasn’t ready to be thrust into the business world already. Maybe if he could just fake it for a bit, he’d swap back? But as the hours passed, he was coming to the realization that he just may be stuck like this.

Amnesia

Originally posted on November 16, 2015.

“You hit your head pretty hard, Caitlyn, are you alright?” The voice asked.

The young woman turned her head and looked up toward the man who had just spoken, “Caitlyn? Is that my name? I don’t feel like a Caitlyn. In fact, I could’ve sworn I was a guy. I remember being a guy...sort of. I can’t seem to remember all too clearly. But I’m pretty sure my name isn’t Caitlyn...is it?”

The man laughed, “Do you want to look in a mirror and check your license?”

“I know it doesn’t make sense, but I’m pretty sure I am not who I appear to be; I’m just not sure who I really am either!”

Rented

Originally posted on September 18, 2011.

“You’ve got to be kidding me! Not again!”

Seth screamed as he slouched down putting his hand on his hip. Two months ago he had signed up for a service that would pay him a hefty fee if he offered his body to be rented at any time for any length. The company told him that very few people rented them out and generally not for very long. No harm was allowed to be done to the rented body, and Seth would be in the renters body until the time was up. Very few people used the service, so it would be like getting a free paycheck for doing nothing. Seth was quick to sign, but his body got picked quickly. For the past two months, he had been inside the body of a middle aged, overweight housewife. Only five minutes after getting his body back, he was rented out again, causing his screams. But as he checked out his waifishly model-like body this time, he wanted to take back those words. He had lucked out, but he couldn’t imagine why a woman this hot would ever want to give up her body, or why she would want to live as him!

Not Like This!

Originally posted on January 29, 2018.

It wasn’t often that Mark brought a woman he randomly met at a bar one night back to his place, but he had a feeling that Tiffany was different. He connected with her in a way that he couldn’t imagine, so he was a little disappointed when he awoke the morning after their one night stand to find her gone. He wondered why she had run off...that is until he got to the bathroom and saw his reflection. It seems Tiffany didn’t run off; instead, at some point in the night they had fused into a single person. He screamed in shock as he saw his face on Tiffany’s otherwise gorgeous body. He pulled up on her pink shirt to reveal more of his body. He felt like some sort of freak. He wanted to get close to Tiffany, but not like this! Not like this at all!

Not a Single Word

Originally posted on May 3, 2014.

Eugene never expected anything like THIS to happen to him while he was on vacation in Japan. He had just gotten into his hotel room and began to settle in when the lights started to flash. The next thing he knew, he was in an office building, amongst a group of people going home for the day. Looking down, he could see that he was dressed in a reasonable skirt suit, and he now had a very nice female body. A huge grin soon showed on his face. He wasn’t sure how he had swapped bodies with this woman, but it was a dream come true. He couldn’t wait to start living her life. The only problem? He didn’t know a single word of Japanese!

One Pill Makes You...

Originally posted on June 30, 2012.

When Ray arrived at the rave, his friend gave him a strange pill. Not one to reject free drugs, Ray popped it immediately. His surroundings became bright and colorful, and he felt a wonderful jolt of bliss. The feeling was so euphoric that he didn’t notice the pill’s one strange side effect--it had completely changed his gender! He wouldn’t notice that he was now a woman until the next morning, when all the other effects of the pill had worn off.

Intentional Malfunction

Originally posted on April 27, 2018.

After Garret turned on his invention, everyone in the room was shocked to find themselves in someone else’s body -- even Garret! Jason didn’t seem to take being in Yumi’s body so well; he retreated to the corner to sulk and cry.

Garret, now in Amanda’s body, approached and tried to assure Jason that it was going to be okay. That he would find a way to fix things and get everyone back to normal.

Jason slowly turned his head and simply stared at Garret with an evil eye before moving it back in order to continue sulking. Jason knew he was playing this just right. With this attitude no one would suspect that he was the one that tampered with Garret’s invention to cause this swap. Garret may have been smart, but he was smarter. In fact, Jason had complete control over who everyone was going to swap with, and he knew Garret would never figure out his modifications or how to undo them. He’d get to keep Yumi’s body forever, and as long as he acted upset about it, no one would ever suspect him.

Swap Night

Originally posted on January 1, 2020.

The invention of the body swapper changed so much about the world. It became common for clubs to have Swap Nights, where everyone in the club would swap bodies randomly at a set time. It wasn’t uncommon for people to sneak out with their new bodies before swapping back. Gordon was pretty sure that’s what happened to him tonight. He couldn’t find his own body anywhere around. Not that he particularly cared since he was certainly enjoying the body of the woman he ended up in tonight. And his body had been stolen at previous Swap Nights; it usually turned up several days later at most. That just meant he could enjoy this body in the meantime, and he was certainly planning on enjoying it to its fullest extent.

The Button

Originally posted on January 29, 2023.

A strange box had arrived one day addressed to Amy and Jeff. The two were roommates who had moved in together shortly after college, but they had never gotten anything that was addressed to both of them before.

Inside the box was a button with a note. The note explained that the button had the power to swap Amy and Jeff with a random pair of bodies. It mentioned the ability to potentially swap with famous people like musicians, athletes, or actors. It could be pressed once a day. Amy and Jeff thought it was a joke. But after a night of drinking, they began talking. Amy laughed that it might be fun to become Taylor Swift; Jeff said he might want to be LeBron James. They decided to press the button. They forgot the note said “random.”

Their first press swapped them into the bodies of a married couple in Tulsa, who were overweight and impoverished. Neither wanted to stay like that, so they pressed it again the next day, and they both became junkies living in a drug house. They kept pressing it day after day, and they were never in bodies that they enjoyed.

After several months, they were set to press it again, but Jeff stopped Amy. “Don’t do it,” He said, “These are the best bodies we’ve been in for weeks. I’m not sure it’s going to get any better.”

“But I’m 50 years old!” Amy protested, “And a guy! I don’t want to be a guy!”

“Do you think I want to be this woman? Or a woman at all? I’ve been nothing but women for the past week! And most of the bodies have been elderly, like 60 or 70. These are the youngest and best bodies we’ve had for some time. If you press it again, the next bodies we end up in could be dead within 24 hours. Don’t press it Amy...Don’t!”