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Thursday, January 26, 2023

To the Vet

Originally posted on July 7, 2018.

Candice didn’t know what was going on. She was locked in some sort of cage. She felt small, as the cage seemed to fit on the passenger seat of a car. The weirdest thing though was that her own body appeared to be the one driving. She tried to protest, but couldn’t seem to make any sounds that even sounded remotely human. Once the car finally stopped, Candice watched her body turn to her and smile.

“Relax, Candice,” Her body said, “It will be okay. I’m taking you in get neutered and you should calm down after we’re done.”

Did Candice hear that right? Neutered? What was going on here?

Almost on cue, Candice’s body seemed to answer that question, “I invented a body swapper and decided I wanted to steal your body. I thought about sticking you with my fat, old body, but doing so would still give you the capacity to activate my machine and swap us back, so I swapped you with my cat instead; he’s now running around in my body. You never noticed me as your neighbor, the quiet and awkward George Livoski. You never talked to me, never said ‘hi’ in response to my shy waves. And now you’re a cat. And if you’re not good, you’ll soon be a stray cat. Now, let’s get you neutered and declawed.”

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